Saturday, April 2, 2011

I Almost Wept

So, like the good wife that I am, I agree to buy beer for Hubby.  I loathe beer and I especially hate buying it because it is heavy and I am weak.

I hoof in, get New Belgium Brewery's Folly Pack (it is great beer and they have a fabulous sustainability story. Seriously, look it up).  AND. GET. CARDED.

SUH-WEET.  SUH-WEET. SUH-WEET!  BoNANza even.

The downside is that it takes me five minutes to find my ID.  They would not accept my zoo pass or my frequent ice cream buyer card.  The nerve.

I finally find my ID and the-man-that-I-kind-of-love (you know, cashier guy) counts on his fingers.  Appalling.  Pathetic.  I want a refund on my taxes that went to pay for his education.  I am forced to wonder if he moves his lips when he reads.

But I still have a crush on him since he carded me.  Just a crush, no longer love.

Then the jerkface (you know, cashier guy) has the gall to state "You can almost drink for two."

ASSHOLE!  I will no longer marry you, I no longer have a crush on you and, in fact, I hate you AND your ancestors.

I calmly respond, "Yes, I can practically drink for two but you count on your fingers.  My toddler does not even do that."

"Man, that is harsh."

"Not as harsh as telling a woman she is older than dirt.  Have a great day."