The Great Zerbert Incident

Babies have no fear, no sense of propriety and, certainly, no sense of decorum.  Thankfully, they are also not racist, judgmental or homophobic.  Normally, I am thrilled that sweet bebe boy is an extravert.  Those shy kids who wrap themselves around their parents' legs drive me nuts.  If I had one, I am certain that I would find it endearing but since I don't I find it annoying.  Judge me if you will.

However, there are times when I wish that my sweet boy were not quite so enthralled with every single person he meets.  Case in point...

We are flying from Chicago to DFW.  It is 11pm and we have been flying for far too long (from England to the US), dealt with customs, hauled bags all over the place, etc. etc.

I just want to get us both on the plane and for both of us to pass out.  Bebe has other ideas.  He can't calm down when there are new people around.  I swear, he is going to be a politician.

I am chatting away with the guy next to me (can't imagine where bebe gets his extraversion, hummm) and I see this giant boarding the plane.  Seriously, the guy has got to be over 7 and a half feet tall.  He can't stand up straight in the plane (he later told me he was a retired Harlem Globetrotter).  He plunks down in the seat in front of us and I go back to chatting.

Apparently, his shiny bald head proves too irresistible for the baby who promptly zerberts his head and then falls down on my lap laughing.  Now, as his mom, I am amused by being awoken every morning with a zerbert on my belly and the ensuing laughter but the kid and I have a bit of history.  I am not certain that a total stranger wants to have my baby blow spit on his head over the holidays.  Nothing quite says "Fa la la la la" like spit!

When he turns around to see who zerberted his head, I say "You know Hallmark simply does not have a card that says 'Sorry my baby finds your head immensely attractive and is compelled to blow spit bubbles on it.' "  I am calling in favors with God, "Please, please, please don't let this guy be an asshole about it.  That is all we need is an irate giant having a fit.  And you know I will have to do some kind of paperwork to explain to the air marshalls our side of it.  Please, please, please."

The guy could not have been more gracious (thankfully, he assumed it was the baby not me).  He turns around and booms "Did you just make my head fart?" in this fabulous Caribbean accent.

Bebe about wets himself laughing at the giant's antics.  As soon as he turns his head, bebe does it again.

This goes on several times before Giant Guy lifts the baby up and starts zooming him around the plane over the heads of the other passengers.  This is beyond fun for the baby since 1) he has never been that high (Daddy is only 6')   2) he is getting to fly over people's heads (Mommy lacks the strength and wing span for that kind of antic) and 3) everyone is tickling his belly while he zooms overhead.

So, in case any of you from UA flight 481 are reading this, thanks for being so gracious and fun.  And, Giant Guy, sorry my baby made your head toot.