Bebe Food

The most surprising thing about having a baby has been the barrage of people who, clearly, know more about my baby and our lifestyle than I do.  They are also, no doubt, more dedicated to the health and happiness of said child that his parents who are, obviously, morons.

Before I start my rant, let me clarify a couple of things.  My husband and I both have multiple graduate degrees (granted, not in nutrition or child development but we are not categorical morons.  Contrary to what my mother says).  Neither of us have eating disorders.  And my husband is known as Captain Safety.  He always knows the nearest exits, where fire extinguishers are located and sizes up everyone in a room for potential threats.  Twenty plus years in the military will do that to you.  I, on the other hand, rely on good karma.

That being said, the High Anxiety Moms (HAMs) that I blogged about earlier seem to think that I have a death wish for my child.  Apparently, the fact that I don't assume everyone is a child molester or kidnapper makes me a "bad mommy."  I was at a Sri Lankan curry house (The Curry Leaf in Colorado Springs -- yummy!) the other day and the 80 year old cook (I assume) came out to dote on sweet bebe (who was wolfing down curried dahl and green beans like nobody's business.  Even I was a bit embarrassed at the gluttony).  She rubbed his belly, picked him up, swirled him around and kissed him non-stop.  Clearly, it was torturous for my uber-affectionate, belly-laughing bebe.  I thought it was cute and no instinctive (maternal or otherwise) alarms went off.  I took it as an opportunity to feed myself rather than the baby.  This is what I call a bonanza moment.  Curried chicken and potatoes for everyone.

My girlfriend was hysterical on my behalf "What if she tries to kidnap him?  What will you do then?"  I honestly could not answer.  Not because I was speechless (I assure you that has NEVER happened to me.  I heart talking), but because I am supposed to panic about an elderly Sri Lankan woman making a run for it while I watch?  Seriously?  This is what I am supposed to add to my list of worries?  Global warming?  Check.  An unhealthy food supply?  Check.  An ancient Sri Lankan stealing my child and selling him off to the white slave market?  Check.

She further added that I feed the baby "too much weird food."  Well, as long as you are criticizing my parenting skills, please feel free to tack on more to the list.  Go on, I'll wait.

I have had total strangers come up to me at restaurants and say "babies don't eat guacamole/spinach/beets/halibut.  He should be eating Pop Tarts or Cheerios."  Seriously?  You want me to trade in steamed spinach (one of bebe's favorites) for Pop Tarts?  Are you joking or just stupid?

I am shocked at what American parents DON'T feed their children.  I was at Garbanzo's recently (without bebe) chatting with another mom.  She was from Lebanon and her 1 year old was inhaling hummus, one of my baby's favorite foods EVER.  She made me laugh when she said "My mom is always harping that the baby does not eat enough hummus.  How is he supposed to grow without chickpeas?"

The irony of this amused me because I get criticized all the time for feeding bebe boy hummus.  And sushi.  And udon.  And fish.  And Chinese dumplings.  And brisket.  And crab legs.  And pico de gallo.  The lady at our sushi place loves the fact that we feed bebe sushi so she always brings him out extra miso (how he loves that!) and "special sushi that Japanese babies eat."  In exchange for free food, he gives her his best pterodactyl grin and lets her rub his belly unimpeded.  It is a win-win for all concerned.


The only thing that makes this better are the few people {whom I absolutely respect} who agree that no bebe ever was scarred for life from bok choy and udon noodle soup (recipe to follow, it was AMAZING).  


I am further consoled by the fact that somehow somewhere I just know that a Nepalese grandmother is screaming at her daughter "I can't believe you are feeding the baby Cheerios.  Are you trying to kill him?"