Either Way We Aren't Paying for College

Briefest preface EVER: Have you ever noticed that everyone who drops out of high school does so because they "are too smart for school" and "the school system does not understand" them? Now, I know some pretty bright people and a few downright brilliant people and, somehow, they all managed to get the schools to understand them. And if one more of these parents says to me "Bill Gates dropped out and look at him." Ummm, Bill Gates LEFT HARVARD with a defined plan. Your kid is dropping out of Pigsknuckle High hoping to land a job at the Piggley Wiggley. The similarities are startling, I can see how you could confuse the two situations.

But back to me... When bebe boy was 3 months old, I had him sitting up in his Moses basket. The sheer weight of his bulbous head started to tilt him over. He grabbed the handle of the basket and pulled himself up! "My baby understands counterweights at 3 months, he is a genius!" "Hello Ivy League!" "Hello Ivy League on scholarship!" "Honey, let's crack open his college piggy bank and buy the Valentino Rose Vertigo bag!" "BoNANza!" "Clearly, my genes are at play here."

I am still in a state of euphoria over my brilliant bebe when he leans over, grabs his foot and bites his own toe so hard that he starts sobbing. Good-bye Ivy League. Adios state school. Farewell even to junior college. My hopes for genius are dashed.

Either way, we aren't paying for college.