If You Wanted Ethel, You Should Not Have Married Lucy

This was my status on Facebook and it has received a lot of comments... And, yes, for the record, I made it up.  Here is the story behind it.

Hubby and I rarely argue.  Trust me, it is not that we don't find one another BEYOND annoying occasionally, well, sometimes (oh alright, often) but neither of us are much into arguing so we let most of it pass.  And, besides, I am married to a rock star so I should {in theory} have no real complaints.  Sweetness, on the other hand, is married to me so I imagine that he (rightfully) has a laundry list of issues to harp about.  However, to my credit, I am a great cook and double-jointed so I get far more passes than I deserve.  Totally not fair to the domestically-challenged and the stiff but, hey, that is your problem.  Go to a couple of yoga classes and tell me if things don't improve in your marital arena...

That being said, when nerves are frayed, the baby is being, well, a baby and we are both three days past exhausted ... we get a bit short with one another.  The other night Hubs has THE NERVE to harp at me for being me.  Now I will fully admit that I have some annoying tendencies:  I have way too many handbags and shoes, I leave said shoes all over the place, we have mail all over the bar, I have no sense of direction (somehow I can even piss off my GPS with missed turns), etc, etc.

However, Hubs has the gall to act pissy because I am triple-booked and expecting him to save me from myself.  For those of you who don't know me, this is not an uncommon event.  In fact, I am overscheduled so often that it no longer is shocking or surprising to anyone who is even remotely associated with me.  This was not my husband's first time-crunch-rodeo-event so I could not imagine why he was slightly plussed much less angry.  Yes, angry!  "Hullo?  We've met, right?  You can't be surprised by this turn of events."

So, I am launching into the logistics acrobatic event in which I excel:  "Okay, I will take the baby to my Board meeting while you sign your client stuff.  Then, we can meet on the side of the road in front of Garden of the Gods and you can take the baby to his gym class.  I will pick him up and go to my lunch meeting while you do your AFA stuff.  While, you are there please go by the commissary and get those dried mushrooms, a lemon Fanta and some YoBaby - the squash kind, full fat."  Meanwhile, I will take the dog to the groomers and see the travel agent about my India tickets.  By the way, have you renewed your passport?  You need to do that, I want us to go to London en famille for Spring Break.  But back to today -- while I am driving to Denver, can you call..."

At this point, I get {rudely} interrupted and Hubby has the nerve to say {in an exasperated tone to boot}:  "How is it that your scheduling crises always become my logistical nightmare?  I have ONE THING on my calendar today."

CAN YOU IMAGINE?  To this I responded "If you wanted Ethel, you should not have married Lucy."