25 Random Things About Me

I know that pert near everyone did this list on Facebook this summer but here is a repeat of mine...  hey, it is finals week, Hubby is sick and I am always time constrained...

You are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.


1) Some of the things I don’t understand:

people who eat that weird, bright orange, faux cheese that comes wrapped in cellophane
road rage
smokers who bitch about their health
people who keep rodents for pets
reality tv
women who don’t spa
homophobes (people, they are not recruiting!)
string theory
2) Of the seven deadly sins, I totally bypassed sloth, rage and envy.
3) I have an unnatural attraction to men in Oxford button down shirts – clearly, too many years of Catholic school. So much the better if they row crew and/or play lacrosse.
4) Some of the best things I have ever done for myself: moving to Europe, joining the Junior League, learning to cook (at the Cordon Bleu School no less), becoming an extrovert (by sheer will).
5) Perhaps the most powerful decision I have ever made was to choose a homebirth.
6) I obsessively change the radio in the car but not at home. I adore NPR except for its music selection – honestly, who wants to hear the pan flute?
7) My favorite part of men’s bodies is that round bone on their wrist. I have dated men based on that alone. For the record, Ken’s is the second best I have ever seen. Simply DIVINE!
8) I was never obsessed with being a mom and now can’t imagine not being one. And I really, really want to be good at this. Thank you, universe, for giving me the most mellow baby on the planet – I recognize that I totally hit the Baby Bonanza.
9) I have the best karma imaginable. When something does not according to my plan, I am sincerely shocked and have been known to remind the universe that I am its “fair-haired girl.” Sadly, I have also told the universe to “get on the stick” when things did not go my way. Can you say ungrateful bitch?
10) I am like catnip to eccentrics. If you show up at a bar in fishing waders with bait on your hat, you will INEVITABLY want to dance with me. The fact that there is no music playing makes it all the better. Yes, this happened. Speaking of, I have had my aura read by six different people in four countries (and oddly enough, they all said the same thing). One started picking the fuzz out of it while I was at the farmer’s market which was more than a little awkward.
11) I cried when no one believed Big Bird about Snuffleupagus’ existence. I swear that is why I don’t like television to this day.
12) I often think that I will move to Tuscany and have an organic farm and winery. Then I spend all day in my garden and realize I was not meant for manual labor.
13) I find false modesty annoying. Along that note, yes, I find myself funny.
14) People who don’t read make me even sadder than people who can’t read. And that, my friends, is mighty, mighty sad.
15) I use ellipses way too much …(the grammatical kind, not the mathematical kind.  Though I can make those too, in case you were curious).
16) I hate it when people come up to me and say something to the extent of “I heard you are funny. Make me laugh.” Honestly, I am not a clown and to quote Kim “the monkey has dropped her cymbals.”
17) I have an unnatural obsession (yes, that is the correct word, affinity is too weak) for shoes, jewelry, lip balm and lipsticks, handbags and French perfume. I have over 300 handbags that I keep inventoried. Yes, I know this is abnormal/OCDesque and totally embrace it. One of the happiest days of my life was spent at the Christian Dior employee only sale in Paris. Sigh…
18) I was told recently by a nurse that I could never be a heroin addict because I have bad veins. Well, then, I guess I will take “crack whore” off my list of career goals. Fortheloveofgawd, use your head, lady.
19) I still laugh at Kim’s quote “Yes, I know I am drunk at a funeral but I am, even with that mark against me, the least tacky person here. You should see all the white shoes and it is not even Easter.”  (In bff's defense, drunk is temporary but tacky is forever).
20) Like the Queen song, I keep my Moet and Chandon in a pretty cabinet. And my Dom. And my Veuve Clicquot.  I heart champagne way too much.
21) If I don’t know which team to cheer for I base it on: 1) teams that are the faves of my friends 2) cities I like to visit 3) team colors. I also avoid rooting for teams that have birds as their mascots. And I will always loathe the Falcons because of Michael “mean to dogs, mean to dogs” Vick (and I hate, hate, hate the Eagles for willingly drafting Mean to Dogs. Finally, I base preferences as to which players endorse what products. McNabb and Chunky Soup? Disgusting!
22) I don’t understand why people will boast about being math illiterate. No one would ever admit to not being able to read but people downright brag about not being able to add/solve for x/calculate percentages. And, for the record, please don’t ask mathematicians to calculate the tip since they are “good at math.” They did not get a degree in multiplication and find those who ask to be simpletons. Trust me on this one.
23) I still really want a horse.
24) The Container Store makes me feel bad about myself. And, besides, what do organized people do with all that extra time they have since they are not looking for their keys?
25) I am eternally grateful for my fabulous friends, my brother, Hubby and Bebe. I am so not worthy of all my blessings.