Has Anyone Else Ever Noticed?

Not to be too snarky but, seriously, does a tornado or fire ever strike the educated and the hygienic?  Or do these normal people just not want to be interviewed by some overly-coiffed reporter who, truly, does not give a rip about their crisis?

Honest to God, it is like the media will only interview you if you are toothless, wearing overalls and are unable to master basic subject predicate agreement.  "We was watching the tv and it sounded jest like a freight train.  So I comes right outside.  Next thing ya knowed, my trailer and my tv is gone."

Seriously, Buford, did you NOT know this was going to happen to your house that is not attached to the earth?  Did you NOT read The Three Little Pigs?  And are you so astute at train sounds that you can tell the difference between freight and passenger trains? 

My bff posted this little tidbit on her blog (http://whatsbetterthanbrisket.blogspot.com/, I HIGHLY recommend it, she is hilarious):

"If you are going to persist in live interviews with random idiots who have nothing to add and just want to be on tv, could you please put the following as the identifier under their faces on the screen: Miscellaneous Dipshit. That way, we all know that this person has nothing credible to add and we can ignore their ramblings and speculation."

That about sums it up.  What is it with people who are seeking their fifteen minutes of fame?  Warhol was wrong, we aren't all going to get our fifteen minutes so MOVE ON (there are simply too many people on the planet now).  This being said:

** You can stop "accidentally" launching your child in a pseudo-weather balloon and have AF jets scrambling to rescue him.  Let's see how many people scramble to rescue your sorry ass from your cell mate, Bubba.

** You have my total permission to stop forwarding videos of yourself to YouTube and America's Most Inane Home Videos, participating in ridiculous, humiliating reality tv shows and dancing your ass off at games trying to get on the jumbo-tron. Worst case scenario, you look like an ass and annoy everyone around you. Best case scenario, you end up seeing said ass magnified to 1000 times its normal size. Talk about traumatic!
** You can stop marrying convicted killers while they are in prison.  He butchered his pregnant wife, he is not "misunderstood," he is a toadstool of humanity.  You are not going to change him, you are merely pathetic.  If your only dating option is those with a life sentence behind bars, you might want to consider therapy, plastic surgery or a nunnery.  Hell, even Hitler was considered charming by some.