I Want to Live in a Catalog

You know you have a cute baby when the Jehovah's Witnesses bring him gifts.  That they bought -- not a newsletter or a bible (and, speaking of,  is the Gideon bible different than the rest of them?).  When the UPS guy brought him a little someun' someun' I thought it was odd but this is truly too much. 

Topic of the day:  I want to live in a catalog.  I know, I know, it is pathetic marketing and all but that is what I want.  And, yet again, it is my blog and if you think I am totally superficial and ridiculous, well, get your own blog.

Here is the combination that I would like it to be: 

Organized like Pottery Barn (I would say organized like The Container Store but I am convinced that store is only there to make people like me feel bad about ourselves.  They all have cute bobs, ironed aprons and crisp white shirts.  Hell, even their eyebrows are organized.  When they, pertly, ask me how they can help I want to shout "I have not changed my sheets in two weeks, I am missing three left shoes, some cranberry cheddar that I swear I bought and a dozen baby socks.  Furthermore, I broke my toe on some baby jumpy thing and had sex last night with a Lego digging a hole into my back.  Do you sell something that will fix that, Princess?"}

Gadgets like Williams Sonoma.  I have to admit that place is like a crack house to me.  A French truffle finishing sauce?  Yes, don't mind if I do.  Cafe au lait bowls?  Yes, please, with the roosters on them.  A bright red tart pan?  But of course!  Though I have to say their "pecan pie filling in a jar" makes me sad.  Pecan pie (especially my chocolate bourbon pecan pie) is one of the earth's gifts to us.  A jarred version can't cut it, even if it is from WS.

Baby clothes from Janie and Jack and Boden.  Little boy overalls.  Sigh.

Adult clothes from Boden, Pure and Nordstrom.  Not that I ever take "a brisk walk while apple picking on a crisp autumn day" and need "a light, quilted jacket that goes with everything from jeans to the warmest woolies" but I want to have that kind of life some time.  Sadly, the description "will prevent you from frostbite and fatal gangrene while running into the open-all-night Target to get formula and carpet cleaner" and "hides your yogurt dreadlocks" will probably never make it past their editors.  But a girl can dream.

More kitchen stuff from Napa Style.  But without the overly pert and coifed guy.  Men who spend a lot of time styling their hair totally creep me out. 

Not that I am not grateful and humbled by my life but I sure could use a Style Editor about now...